To sleep and perchance to dream
“Just. Go. The. Fuck. To. Sleep. Already.”
You’re lying in your bed, wide awake. Outside the window it’s all dark, with only a street lamp or two puncturing the night. You turn to look at the clock: 2:37. A few more hours and you’ll have to get up and get ready for work. You turn back over, sigh and think for yourself: “How can it be so bloody difficult falling asleep? Am I doing it wrong?”
As it happens, you might. Sleep is a nervous creature; it’s easily spooked and difficult to tame. There are however a few things to keep in mind in order to help you fall asleep.
Getting in the mood
First things first: it’s your brain that need the sleep, not your body. So regardless of how tired you feel, your brain need to be in the proper mood to be able to switch off. This means winding down. Try not to get stressed about how late it is and how much you need to fall a sleep right this minute; this will only increase your adrenaline production and stress you up even more. Yes, that’s right: stress is stress-inducing. (It’s also fattening, but that’s another story..)
Instead, read a book. Books are (usually) nice and monochrome and give minimal visual stimulation to the brain. Avoid glossy magazines and stay away from the television. I know, I know: lots of people fall asleep in front of the telly, but the reason it’s a bad idea is that it emits mainly blue light. Blue light will trigger the hypothalamus to put the brain in ‘awake’-mode, since it mimics the frequency of daylight. So keep the light low and keep it yellow or even red.
It also helps to have had an active day, with many new impressions and experiences. That way your brain is full of unprocessed information and eager to get into REM sleep. (I think this might be the explanation why teenagers sleep so much, and why elderly people typically get away with a few hours a night.)
Other things are more self-explanatory: avoid drinking too much before getting ready to go to bed. Even though coffee and tea is might only act as a stimulant for a limited amount of time (30 minutes to and hour or two at the max), it’s also diuretic and could interrupt you falling asleep by forcing you to got to the bathroom at the wrong time.
Dream master
No, it's not a hippie, actually.
If you manage to fall asleep, your next hurdle is to stay asleep until morning. Unsettling dreams or nightmares could wake you up in the middle of the night and the stress caused by them could make it difficult to go back to sleep.
Enter the dream control programme. Even though it might not feel like it, we are in fact in charge of our own dreams. This means that you can program your brain to respond in appropriate ways to scenarios by telling yourself what to do before going to sleep. And since most nightmares follow the same patterns, it’s quite easy to predict what could happen. If, for instance, you dream of being chased by some evil person or creature, convince yourself to turn and face your persecutor. You’ll find it instantly melting away and becoming benevolent. The key to proper dream mastery is confidence in your power over your own dream world, and this is what you need to tell yourself each night before falling asleep.
(In addition to controlling nightmares, you could also prepare yourself for any challenging and difficult tasks you might face in the morning. By going through the same tasks in your dreams, you will find yourself with a strenghtened confidence which will help you complete the tasks in real life more successfully. After all, if you’re in charge of your dreams, they might as well do some work for you while they’re at it.)
Feel the rhythm
The final step in a good nights sleep is when to wake up. I am aware that we’re seldom allowed to sleep until we wake up naturally, but there are ways of minimising the pain of getting up early in the morning.
I watch your every move..
A sleeping brain will alternate between REM and NREM sleep in rhythmic intervals, and the key to wake up easily is to time the alarm clock to go of during the NREM phase. One way is to test when it is easiest to wake up by trying different alarm times. This simple method works surprisingly well, but it does require you to go to bed more or less the same time each night.
Another way is to use a measuring device that can tell when you’re in REM and when you’re not. It could then trigger the alarm during your light-sleep phase and you’d wake up feeling well rested and alert. This might sound technical and complicated, but luckily there’s an app for that. Several apps, actually (Electric Sleep for Google Android and Sleep Cycle for Apple iOS are two examples) . They work by using your smartphone’s accelerometer sensors to pick up vibrations from your bed. The more vibrations, the more you’re moving around and the lighter your sleep. It then times the alarm clock to go off during that phase. This approach is better if you can’t rely on going to bed at the same time every night, but out doesn’t work all that well if you sleep in the same bed a someone else.
Damage control
If all else fails and you find yourself at work after a sleepless night trying to stay awake (oh, the irony!), you might be able to regain some alertness by napping. Contrary to popular belief napping isn’t sleeping, but it will recharge you and let you go about your business for a few more hours. Daniel Tenner has written an interesting and informative post about napping, which I recommend that you read: How to nap. It might even help you find a way to fall asleep quicker and easier.
If napping is out of the question, you might be tempted to think that strong tea or coffee will help you keep your eyes open, but I’ve found this not to be the case. The best way is to simply stand up and walk around for a few minutes and perhaps engage in a lively discussion with some colleagues.
Putting it to bed
There are of course as many ways of going to sleep as there are people, and there’s no saying what will work for you. Perhaps listening to an album with sounds of waves on a deserted beach? Or meditation? Or just a chain of thoughts that you repeat every night to let your brain know it’s time to switch off?
Whatever method you choose, the key to success seem to be in repetition and fixed routines. We’re creatures of habit after all, and can be trained to do almost anything – even something as difficult as falling asleep.
And with that I bid you goodnight. Creative dreaming!
P.S. I’m sorry this post has taken so long to get finished, especially since so many of my Twitter friends seem to suffer from insomnia, but ironically I’ve been feeling very tired and sleepy lately.
Most annoying urban myths debunked – part 7
There are countless urban myths floating around. Some are amusing, some are terrifying and some are just plain weird. But there are also plenty of urban myths that I just find utterly annoying. Most of them are things I’ve believed in myself in the past, but when thinking about it logically realising couldn’t be true. Which is why I find them so annoying!
This is part seven – read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 and part 6 here.
13. Natural ingredients are better
Ok. You know these adverts where they state that a particular food product only contain natural ingredients? And how they always imply that this is somehow better than the other brands containing (I presume) ‘unnatural’ ingredients? It’s all very wholesome and annoying, but is it true? Are products made with ‘natural’ ingredients really better?
“No bird droppings or dog pee on us - we're grown hydroponically!”
No, they aren’t. First of all, let’s look at the definition of ‘natural ingredients’. What is a natural ingredient? Tomatoes grown in soil, perhaps? Grown without the aid of insecticides, fungicides and inorganic fertilisers? Only water, sunshine and animal poo then. I’m sorry to break it to you, but the image of naturally grown vegetables and fruit is just that – an image. No matter where you grow stuff on earth today you will subject your plants to man-made chemicals. Both rain water and ground water contains levels of chemicals, as does almost all soil and even the dung you use for fertiliser. So, it is all but impossible to grow things ‘naturally’ these days. You simply cannot find fully natural ingredients anymore.
Secondly, assuming you could find any, would natural produce be better in any fundamental way? Well, not really. There are no magical components in rain water, sun light and soil. It’s all about chemicals and electromagnetic radiation. By controlling those factors using inactive synthetic soil, inorganic fertilisers, greenhouses with shades and water drip distribution systems (also known as hydroponics), we can in fact improve on both productivity and flavour of the resulting vegetables and fruits.
Obviously, you could argue that the term ‘natural’ has more to do with not using pesticides, which of course would be a good thing, especially since there are many biological alternatives nowadays. But does a product become ‘natural’ just because we haven’t sprayed them with poison?
In the end, the phrase ‘natural ingredients’ is lacking a coherent definition while having a strong positive emotional charge, making it a perfect marketing tool. Call something natural and it will sell, even if you up the price. Ka-ching!
14. Eating cheese before bedtime will give you nightmares
Ok, this is a popular one: Don’t eat cheese before you go to bed or your sleep will be interrupted by countless nightmares. Apparently, there is some kind of substance in cheese that will give you weird and scary dreams, and we should all take care not to consume any cheesy food late at night.
“I'm good for you, please eat me.. Go on, you know you want to!”
No. Eating cheese doesn’t induce nightmares. Even though many cheeses contain casomorphins (a type of morphine that acts like an opioid and can cause dizziness and hallucinations in high concentrations), no studies have managed to show any link between consuming cheese and more frequent or more intense nightmares.
Cheese is addictive, however. This is due to the casomorphins mentioned above, as they trigger the reward-centre in our brain every time we eat cheese. So, according to that logic, you’re more likely to experience nightmares if you stop eating cheese as you’d be suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Also, cheese contains tryptophan which will help induce sleep and should therefore help you sleep sounder. In addition it’s a potential anti-depressant.
To top it off, eating cheese is probably good for you teeth, as the calcium, proteins and phosphorus will strengthen your tooth enamel. Cheese also increase the production of saliva, which will help rinse your teeth and gums clear of any leftover foodstuffs that could otherwise cause tooth decay.
The bottom line is this: cheese is good for you; it will help you sleep, keep you from becoming too depressed and stop your teeth from decaying. It is addictive however, and fattening, so some moderation in consuming it is probably in order.
This is the 7th installment of the Urban myth series. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 and part 6 here. Not sure if there will be a part 8; I think I’m all grumped out.
Why vampires are sexy
Honestly, I can't see any links between vampires and sex in this picture - perhaps this posts is moot already?
In the good old days, before cinema or television, vampires used to be horrific re-animated corpses walking around at night eating the flesh of the living. These old-school vampires had more in common with modern-day zombies than todays toothy enchanters.
But then things started to change. Arguably it all began with the birth of the first modern vampire: Bram Stokers Dracula. Rather than being a zombie-esque corpse, Dracula was a gentleman. A count, even. This meant that he knew how to conduct himself in order to infiltrate human society so he could strike out from within. He was likeable; he was charming. He was sexy.
And from that point on, vampires became the new sex symbols. In books as well as films and television series, vampires were portrayed as overtly sexual beings who seduced and preyed on the week-minded humans.
Why do we get off on vampires?
So. We’ve established that modern vampires are all about the sex. But why? What is it about those undead ectoparasites that we find so attractive?
There’s been countless pieces written on the sex appeal of vampires, with references to anything from the sex-oppressed Victorian society of Bram Stoker to the penetrative action of the vampire fangs. But I don’t fully subscribe to these explanations. Instead (as always, you might sarcastically say), I’ll focus on the biological/psychological aspects of modern vampires and see if that can shed any light on the matter.
1. Seduction
Lady Miriam - the sexiest of all vampires?
One of the main characteristics of modern vampires is their flair for seducing their human victims. All they need to do is to give you a long powerful look and your resistance will melt away like an ice lolly in a hot tub. This seductive power obviously has sexual undertones, and I would argue that it stems from our desire to feel special and confirmed. Having such a powerful and seductive creature focusing solely on you is obviously flattering, and will easily make you forget the tragic consequences of this attention.
We can also note that most victims of vampires rarely object to becoming seduced. They are usually willing slaves. This in turn would suggest that people who find vampires sexually attractive (which is, to be fair, most of us) have either open or hidden masochistic tendencies.
2. Power
“Now remember: 'You got the power. You got the power.'”
The second trait of modern vampires is that of power. Vampires as magical creatures of immense strength and they have many powerful tricks up their sleeve. Such implied power is a known aphrodisiac, possibly because it shows a person who has done well in live (or afterlife, as it happens), and is in charge of his or her own destiny. And as we humans usually find ourselves victims of circumstances beyond our control, we naturally find this type of power very appealing.
All of this makes us predisposed to want to become vampires ourselves. After all, who wouldn’t want a piece of that kind of (after)life-style?
3. Evil
“Oh yeah? Well, YOU look like a toad! A horny disgusting toad!”
Finally we come to the core of it: vampires are evil creatures. They live by drinking of human blood. They are soul-less and lack any sense of compassion or empathy. They hide in dark alleys and prey on us like wild beasts. They are truly horrid in every way.
Now, this is interesting. Why are we drawn to evil creatures? We see this in regular human society as well in the form of groupies and followers of psychopaths and mass murderers. I think evil is another kind of power. It shows a person who doesn’t care about the rules of society – a rebel if you will. To rebel against all other people shows confidence and determination, both of which could be seen as attractive traits.
The thrill of bad
In combination, all the above characteristics create a powerful sexual image; a hyper-sex symbol, if you like. It also represent the thrill of what’s bad, in that it’s about sex – and sex is still tabu in many societies (perhaps due to the power of our sex drive, but that’s another post). This also allow us to experience the sexual tension without actually having to think directly about sex.
In addition, it’s also possible that the danger element remind us of the exposed feelings of the early stages of romantic love, where we’re not yet sure of the other persons character and everything is still uncertain and scary.
Summing up, modern vampires are sexy because they are a combination of most (if not all) traits we find sexually attractive in a person. In fact, the best way of testing if a person has any sex appeal is to try to imagine them as vampires. Only those who would make a convincing vampire are truly sexy. It’s as simple as that.
Save Schrödinger’s cat – dead or alive!
I’ve always had a problem with Schrödinger’s cat. Not his actual cat, you understand (as I never met it), but his thought experiment designed to highlight the flaws of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. Hold on, don’t panic! There’s no reason to reach for that ‘close browser tab’-button. It’s only a little bit of quantum physics. Just like grammar is the basis of language, quantum mechanics is the basis of the universe. What’s that? You rather read about grammar instead? Why, of course; go right ahead! The Lucy’s football post is a really good one, I’ll wait for you here.
"I'm a quantum cat, me!"
You back? Good. Anyway, I’m sure you’re already familiar with the Schrödinger’s cat paradox, but let me just recap to show off my own (limited) knowledge in quantum theory:
A cat is placed in a sealed box together with a minute amount of radioactive matter. A Geiger-meter in the box will detect if any of the radioactive atoms decay and emit radiation. The Geiger-meter is connected to a relay that will release a hammer crushing a vial containing poisonous cyanide gas. According to the Copenhagen interpretation, the likelihood of an atom actually decaying and triggering the hammer is represented by a probability waveform, and until and external observer open the box and look inside, the cat will exist in both states simultaneously – i.e. it’s both dead and alive at the same time.
Obviously, no physicists ever conducted such an experiment. They tend to leave such cruelty to us biologists. But the point here is the dual state of the whole system prior to observation: Since we haven’t observed the Geiger-meter, the atom haven’t collapsed to a state of decayed/not-decayed yet. There seem to be some kind of ‘magical’ connection between the state of a quantum system and whether we observe it or not. If this sounds absurd, it’s because it really is, but it has been proved countless of times experimentally. Here’s an (only slightly condescending) animated video illustrating just such an experiment:
But back to my problem with Schrödinger’s cat. The idea that the cat would just sit in the box perfectly happy with being both dead and alive is obviously absurd. The cat would naturally observe first hand if the vial was crushed by the hammer (by hearing the glass of the vial being smashed, if nothing else), and would therefore collapse the quantum system to one of its probable outcomes. So, regardless of us opening the box to observe the outcome or not, the system has already collapsed and the cat is already dead or alive.
Entanglement
"Save Schrödinger's cat - dead or alive!" T-shirt now available in the shop
This whole magical power of the observer is all down to the concept of entanglement, and it relates to coupling systems together. By observing a quantum system, we connect our observing apparatus to it. The observing apparatus contains billions upon billions of quantum particles/waveforms, and the probability of one of them spontaneously collapsing is very high. This will trigger a chain reaction and force all other connected particles to collapse as well, including the coupled quantum system we’re trying to observe. So, by observing a quantum system we inadvertently couple it to our – already collapsed – macro-system, and forces it to collapse.
This is also the explanation for why the world doesn’t behave in that weird quantum way, but in the familiar way we’re used to, i.e. if you drop a ball you expect it to end up on the floor, not to become suspended in a probability wave until we actually observe what happened.
So, collapsing probability waveforms into particles has got nothing to do with whether we observe them or not. It’s by coupling them to a much larger system that entangle them to the already collapsed part of the universe that forces them to collapse. See? No magic. Just probability. Isn’t science awesome?
The core of creativity
In a previous post about sex I mentioned that our sexual urge is strong in order to override our common sense and cold logic. Then @lgalaviz commented, saying that Steven Pinker states in How the Mind Works that men only create things to get sex. I disagreed. @lgalaviz retorted with the excellent blog post Why girls rule and boys drool, elaborating her point. She then posted a second, equally interesting post called Enjoy a life of crime, or scientific achievement, whichever. They are both great posts and you should go and read them. Now. Don’t worry, I’ll wait until you come back.
* * *
There. Weren’t they great? I told you so. Unfortunately for @lgalaviz, she’s still wrong. Not WRONG wrong, but ‘slightly off target’-wrong. My point is two-fold, as I’ll explain in detail below.
1. The reconstructive trap
One of the most common errors committed by evolutionary biologists is to try to explain every single character, trait or feature as an evolutionary end result. It can go something like this:
Sorry, that red hair doesn't seem to have any benefits what so ever. Apart from being pretty. (Hey, wait a minute..?)
Red hair is common in people living in Northern Europe. Something must have made that trait valuable. Perhaps red hair is better at letting sunbeams reach the scalp, increasing the production of vitamin D during the cold dark winters. Conclusion: Red hair evolved to help people survive in northern regions by stopping them from developing vitamin D deficiency.
In fact, red hair doesn’t seem to serve any kind of evolutionary purpose, and the majority of people living in northern areas around the world have dark hair. It is probably just one of those traits that aren’t harmful enough to be actively selected against and therefore are allowed to drift in the populations gene pool. If the population gets small enough, it could easily become a major variation of hair colour without having any benefits what so ever.
The lesson is to not see reason for things where reasons might not exist. Not all traits have evolved. Some have just sort of stuck, and as they didn’t do any real harm, no selection against them has been necessary.
Likewise, just because creativity might lead to sexual attractiveness (think rock star or famous actor), that doesn’t mean it’s the cause of creativity.
2. The source of creativity
To get to the root of the source of creativity, we have to return yet again to those famous grassy plains in Africa 800-900,000 years ago that witnessed the birth of our species Homo sapiens.
It turns out that those grassy plains weren’t always grassy. Or even plains, for that matter. Every now and again, whole valleys would be flooded and turned into lakes, only to later dry out and turn to dried out lake beds and then slowly turned back to grassy plains again. This seemed to happen as often as every 50-100 years, making our species birth place a very volatile environment. You either adapted, moved away or died out.
Yes, it is Rupert Giles. And no, he's not doing it to get laid. He's doing it for the creative PAIN!
We adapted. And we adapted in a way that no other species had done before – we evolved creativity. In order to survive subsequent floods, droughts and the grassy plains in between we had to be able to improvise rather that rely on behavioural patterns tought by our parents and grandparents. We needed to be inventive. Our species Homo sapiens is the youngest of all human species and still we were the first to invent throwing spears, slings, fish hooks and bows and arrows. This gave us a fighting chance of surviving the next catastrophe, whatever it might be. We simply HAD to be creative, not to get laid but in order to survive.
Creativity is the mother of invention
This surge in creative survival thinking had an interesting side effect: art. Once we got a reasonably decent quality of life, we could spend our spare time letting our now hyper-creative minds wander. And how they wandered! From bone necklaces, clay figurines and intricate cave paintings to fridge magnets, hummus and Spandau Ballet (to paraphrase comedian/musician Bill Bailey). Our imagination doesn’t seem to know any limits.
So I challenge anyone to argue that creativity has all to do with sex. Rather, sex will rear its ugly head now and again, trying to convince its arch rival creativity to give it a rest. And it might succeed. But it will never, ever be the reason for creativity. It’s a secondary urge, trumped by the primary needs of eating, sleeping and not getting devoured by a leopard. Creativity is the reason we are still here, free to have those sexual urges, and not the other way around.
Sexy monkey
"I might LOOK silly, but at least I know how to behave."
Us humans are a strange sort. We got these huge brains capable of some remarkable feats, like figuring out how the universe works or how to get the cellophane off a newly purchased DVD. Yet, on the other hand, we’re so easily distracted by the prospect of sex that it’s almost comical.
What’s that all about? Why are we so obsessed with sex? Other animals don’t seem to be, or at least not all the time. They have seasons when they’re in heat, and alright, they can get a little silly, but it’s only for like 2-3 weeks per year. Humans are silly all year around.
It is odd that humans should have such a strong sex drive, perhaps the strongest of all animals*. What could be the reason (if any) for that? To get to the bottom of this mystery, we’re going to have to compare humans with other primates and see what differences we find.
Just like other mammals, primates only reproduce during certain times of the year when they are in heat. When not in heat, they are essentially de-sexualised and only concern themselves with day-to-day problems like foraging for food, avoiding predators and climbing the social ladder within the group.
Not so with humans. We are an always-on kind of species, always ready for sex with no extended period of celibacy (except of the “I can’t get any action, I’m such a loser”-kind). Why? What could be the benefit of wasting valuable energy on chasing potential sexual partners all year long? Or, putting it a slightly less promiscuous way, why are we fertile all year long?
One thing that separate us humans from other primates is that we can be found all over the world. We’re everywhere. And there’s plenty of us, too. This has not always been the case, and only some tens of thousand years ago we almost went extinct. There might have been as few as a few hundred humans left in the whole world. But we bounced back, just like we keep bouncing back after each horrific disaster that threatens to snuff us out for good. And at least one of the reasons for this must be our capability to start reproducing no matter what time of the year it is. And for this to work we need to be mentally ready for sex all year round, which means we’re always thinking of sex. Sex is on our brains.
I know. It makes you think of sex, doesn't it?
We have, like all primates, a rather extended juvenile period. It takes more than 12-13 years before we’re sexually mature, and even longer until we’re mentally ready to couple up and start raising a family. This is obviously a drawback if we’re trying to repopulate the earth, but it has been offset by the extended life span of (female) humans to long after we’re able to reproduce. This has given rise to the grandmother phenomenon, where the grandmother takes over some of the care of her daughters children to help her have additional children she wouldn’t have been able to manage on her own – even with the help of a trust-worthy life-partner (if one is around).
But I believe there is another reason for our hyped-up sex drive. Being as intelligent as we are, we would not necessarily be interested in sex, but rather focus on the latest flint knapping technique or the newest trends in wall paintings (think Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory). Also, the concept of reproducing and becoming responsible for a child for 15-20 years might cause us to hesitate to engage in any sexual activities. To counter this, our brain is flooded with sex hormones. They make us want to have sex no matter what - consequences be damned - and is essentially a logics override, making us single-track minded and focussed only on sex. This effect is strongest in our teens, but we’re never really immune to it, even later in life.
So. We are indeed sexy monkeys, and there are good reasons for it. But still, that’s no excuse for behaving like a over-sexed baboon. Especially since the baboon probably would take that as an insult.
* The one exception would be the Bonobo or Pygmy Chimpanzee. They engage in sex on a regular and frequent basis, and often use it as a means of paying for services or climbing the social ranks in the group. They also practice make-up sex and sex as a conflict resolution method. They are totally the other sexy monkeys.
Immortality is overrated
Could we really stop ageing? And would we want to?
It used to be so simple. We were born, grew up and immediately started ageing. As we got older, our bodies grew more and more fragile and worn out until finally one day one of the vital system collapsed and we died.
Then, in 1939, two British statisticians* discovered something amazing: we only age until we’re 93 years old - after that the degenerative process stops completely. This was a truly paradigm-shifting discovery, but due to the looming war it went unnoticed by the rest of the scientific world and was quickly forgotten.
However, in 1992, the same phenomenon was observed in fruit flies. Two independent reports published in the journal Science described how the mortality rate rose exponentially for the first two weeks (as would be expected for an insect with a two-week lifespan), but then slowed down and stopped. The surviving flies kept on living for months, showing no sign of further ageing. And no matter what type of organism biologists studied, the same results could be observed. We just needed a big enough test population and large enough number of generations to see it.
The leading theory to explain all this is linking an organism’s ageing plateau with the age at which it stops reproducing; essentially, the sooner we stop being fertile, the sooner we stop ageing. It seem to have something to do with the evolutionary selective pressure somehow “bottoming out”, after which point no further selection takes place.
Yeah, this isn't really the face of immortality. Sorry.
So what could all this mean? Ok, it’s great that we stop aging after 93, but by then we’re already pretty old and life is beginning to lose some of its flavour. So what if we could get another 20-30 years after 93? Would we really want them?
Well, first of all: if we look at people in their 70s today they are considerably more healthy and active than 70-year-olds were 50 years ago. In another 20-30 years it’s not unthinkable that we could enjoy the same quality of live at 90. That would make any additional years look pretty promising and attractive (unless of course you’re already fed up with all this nonsense and long for an eternal cold sleep).
And secondly: people seem pretty obsessed with staying alive, no matter what the cost. So I believe only a very few would complain about getting an extra span of life, even in the advanced age of 93. Also, our almost religious belief in the advancement of medical science would keep many of us clinging to the hope that life could be made bearable even this late in life.
But most dramatic would be the socio-economic implications. If we were to live for 150 or even 200 years in reasonable health, there’s no way that we could all retire at 65. The population would then quickly become dominated by pensioners without any taxable income. This would obviously be unsupportable, so instead of being able to look forward to decades (or even centuries) of free time, practical necessities would force us to continue to work for perhaps another 100 years. Could you imagine working for 150 long years? How many different careers would that include? 20? 30? And how tired would you not be when at your 87th job interview at the respectable age of 163?
Nor this, unfortunately. I mean, just look at those ears! Nibbable.
So perhaps this living-for-ever malarkey isn’t all that. Not when we would have to work for most of the time. And also, since it’s only women who stop reproducing early in life, it would be only women who could expect to enjoy exceptionally long lives. Which would mean that once you reach the age of 110 there would only be women left in your generation, and unless you had a taste for toy-boys (70 or 80-year-old youngsters!), you’d have to either consider live-long celibacy or a drastic change to your sexual orientation. Yes, the majority of citizens in our future society would probably be lesbians.
To sum it up: a society of immortals wouldn’t necessarily consist of elves or vampires**. We might already be immortal (well, unless you’ve got a penis – sorry), and with improvements in medical care and overall mental and physical health, we could expect to end up in this utopia sooner than expected. But as always seem to be the case, the utopia might well turn out to be a dystopia. Perhaps living for ever is just too good to be true? Or at least too good to be enjoyable.
* In 1939, Major Greenwood and J.O. Irwin published in the journal Human Biology their discovery that women above 93 years old weren’t any more likely to die than 93-year-old women. Read about this and the more recent discoveries here.
** People are fascinated by vampires. Some even believe they are vampires themselves. Here’s a simple test to check if you’re one of them: vampirewebsite.net
The zombie fever
Boy. If looks could kill..!
You might have noticed lately that our culture has been invaded by zombies. Books, television series, films, video games and comics are teaming with the reanimated undead, or ‘infected’ as they now are called. World War Z, The Walking Dead, Zombie Land, 28 Days Later and Left4Dead all depict a postapocalyptic world where a horrific pandemic has decimated the population and only a lucky few have escaped unharmed. Lucky? Well, perhaps not so much: having survived the outbreak they now have to try to make a living in the shattered remains of our civilisation, always under the threat of attack from ‘the changed ones’.
These stories are bleak and cruel, filled with unimaginable suffering and heartbreaking sorrow on a global scale not depicted since the British television series The Day of the Triffids*. The mood is often so harrowing, in fact, that the inevitable zombie attacks almost feel like a welcomed release, giving your humanity and compassion a break by flooding your brain with adrenaline and rage.
But this is not a review of any of the titles mentioned above. No. Instead I’m curious to what the reason could be that we’re suddenly so keen to watch, read or play zombie apocalypse stories. What’s the attraction? Or rather, what’s the urgency? Why now?
The contagion
At least there's no traffic.
Few things induce fear in a human society as infectious disease. The medieval Black death plague is probably the best known, but we only have to go back to World War I and the 1918 flu pandemic (a.k.a. the ‘Spanish Flu’) for the most deadly and widespread of all diseases in human history. The flu, based on a particularly aggressive strain of the H1N1 virus, killed up to 100 million people – this represented 6% of the world population at the time.
That same H1N1 virus is responsible for the common seasonal human flu, but also swine flu and bird flu. Many virologists now believe it’s only a matter of time before the next outbreak of a new aggressive strain, especially with modern air travel shuffling people around the world on a scale and with a speed never seen before. This time, however, Patient Zero will probably not be an American soldier, but more likely a Chinese livestock trader.
The rage
"Wait: do you hear the pitter-patter of tiny little feet? No?"
But in addition to our (perhaps justified) fear of the next pandemic, there’s also a fear of what I call ‘The rage’. We are apparently petrified that our fellow citizens would suddenly become vicious carnivores, intent on tearing us limb from limb to consume our flesh.
That a human being should suddenly turn wild and start to hunt other people is understandably one of the most horrific thing imaginable. We know fully well what cruelty we’re capable of in human form; what horrors could we not visit on others if we lost all sense of human morals and compassion and became ‘soulless animals’?
This fear of the predator within is so strong in fact, that it has not only given rise to the myth of zombies, but also countless other myths including the ones of vampires and werewolves.
The fear
She's behind you!
If we mix these historic fears of the monster within with the current climate of fear of the pandemic disease, we end up with – you guessed it – a zombie apocalypse! “What if some new infectious disease would make people violent and crazy? It would be the end of the world as we know it!” This proposed mix of flu and rabies is quite different from the 1970s view on zombies, where the dead literally rose from their graves to shuffle around aimlessly in search of human flesh. The modern zombie is a different beast, created by a virus infection rather than magic, and is light and fast on its feet.
Is there any merit to such theories, though? Could some viral disease really turn us into zombies? Well, not undead zombies. If we die, we stay dead, even when infected by some strange new virus. But if by zombies we mean rage-prone needs-driven semi-conscious predatory humans, then yes, I guess that’s possible. Although not likely.
Better safe than sorry
Our society is more fearful than ever, and perhaps it’s rather healthy of us to live out our fears by watching zombie movies, reading zombie books and playing zombie games? By exposing ourselves to the very thing we’re afraid of, we begin to neutralise our fears. Not only that, but by experiencing these post-apocalyptic scenarios by the means of media, we accustom ourselves with the challenges of surviving under such conditions. This give us the confidence that we’re prepared, and therefore feel like we’re in control.
It also give us that nice buzz of adrenaline, whilst still knowing we’re quite safe. For now, anyway.
* The book The Day of the Triffids has been adapted to both film and television several times, but my personal favourite is the 1981 BBC version. John Wyndham‘s original book from 1951 is still very good, as is indeed most of his other books.
Most annoying urban myths debunked – part 6
There are countless urban myths floating around. Some are amusing, some are terrifying and some are just plain weird. But there are also plenty of urban myths that I just find utterly annoying. Most of them are things I’ve believed in myself in the past, but when thinking about it logically realising couldn’t be true. Which is why I find them so annoying!
This is part six – read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 and part 5 here.
11. Video games will turn you into a violent psychopath
"Does anyone else feel like going out and kill something? No? Ok, just me then."
This one is truly annoying: Apparently, playing video games will make you go out and kill your fellow citizens like some deranged psychopath. Every time we hear about some suicidal mass murderer, they always seem to have a history of playing video games. Clearly there’s a link and we should probably ban all video games to save ourselves from genocide.
No. Playing video games doesn’t make you more prone to violence.
First of all, not every game is violent. There are a number of achingly beautiful and truly creative and artistic games, like Darwinia, World of Goo, Limbo and Eufloria. But what really grabs the headlines are the violent shoot-em-ups like Grand Theft Auto, Counter-Strike and Call of Duty. Action-packed and bloody games where you shoot and kill people in a number of different and gruesome ways.
UK video game sales double while reported crimes decrease by 23%
So, let’s get to the facts: what does the statistics say? Well, first of all, UK is the country with the highest proportion of gamers in Europe, with more than 50% of the population actively playing video games on a regular basis. Number of video game sales has more than doubled in the last decade. Now, what are the figures for crimes committed in the UK for the same period? As it happens, they have decreased with 23% on average*, while reported incidents of violence as recorded by hospitals has fallen by 25% during the last 10 years.
Hang on. What’s going on here? We all know that crimes have increased – we read about in the papers every day! Well, actually, not so much. News tend to report crimes more, because it is attention grabbing, and therefore commercially viable, but it doesn’t necessary reflect the true proportion of violent crimes in our society.
"And THIS is for that report you made me write!"
To be fair, there are studies of brain activity of gamers that show a correlation between violent games and increased emotional activity coupled with reduced inhibition and self-control. But even so, video gaming seem to have no negative effect on our society. If anything, the statistics would suggest that the more we play video games the more peaceful and law-abiding we become. Perhaps this has something to do with using games to de-stress after a hard day at work/school?
In addition, several new studies show that video games can help you with both mental and physical ailments such as depression and visual deficiencies.
To summarise: playing video games (even gory ones) won’t make you violent – in fact it could have some health benefits and help you relax. Personally, I believe video games are just like books, comics, films and music: unless you’re already a crazed psychopat, they won’t make you go on a killing spree.
I know I will continue to play my video games, if nothing else to keep me sane.. (Always thinking of your safety)
12. This time, 3D television is here to stay!
No.
This is the 6th installment of the Urban myth series. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 and part 5 here. Part 7 is to follow.
* Actually, one category of crime has increased slightly: bicycle thefts. Must be due to all those violent bicycle video games we have..
Introducing the heinakroon.com shop
(Disclaimer: This is not a real post)
Look at all the awesome T-shirts! Don't you want one? Of course you do!
Did you know you can now buy stylish T-shirts based on posts from this very blog? It’s true!
I’ve set up a shop over at zazzle, where you can choose from a selection of smart and informative garments, suitable for any occasion. You can even customise them if you want – cool huh?
So what are you waiting for? Go on, check it out now!
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